He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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