normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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