Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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