The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
