ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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