Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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