I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
