i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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