Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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