Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
