Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize