he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Randomize
