ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
