In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
