he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
