I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize