Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
