Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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