the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
