Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
