Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she looked like the before picture.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
