those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
