Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
why is half of my head shaved?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
