Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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