If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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