I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
