Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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