It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
