guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
