What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
