My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
