I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My bed smells like the plague
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
