I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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