the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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