My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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