I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
