Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
