I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
