Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm at about main and main street
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I smell like Dick and happiness
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