I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i've created a new STD.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
