I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
someone owes me an orgasm
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
