You can't special order awesome
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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