Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
