I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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