I think my vagina is haunted
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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