i wish my penis had a tongue
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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