okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
