i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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