Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
