She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
