Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
