so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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