I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
