Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
