So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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