I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I love you. Go after that dick
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
