you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
