You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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