honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
