So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
