I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
